#and i cant STAND UP because THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY BRAIN
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omegasmileyface · 2 years ago
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i wish i wasn't completely fucking paralyzed by someone being in the same room as me
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bokuwadekinaiko · 5 months ago
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cw post / tags. sorry
i don't even know if i have the words
to express this
she's gone
and its all my fault
#~ . 🥀#half my brain wants to scream to cry to do something#the other half wants to lie here forever and wait til i go numb#im in such a state of shock rn i .m gonna throw up#for context#2 hours ago as of writing this i received news that a loved one committed suicide#i was one of the only people that knew she was severely depressed / suicidal i shouldve seen the signs#i shouldve helped her more or called her or told someone#i was a coward. i couldn't.#and because i willingly did nothing to stop someone from dying#i am compliant. therefore . its my fault shes dead#.#this isnt some story where you can rewrite the ending#this is real life#and now i watched someone i love die and will have to live with the guilt of knowing i couldve done something but chose not to#the worst type of person.#i didnt deserve to be friends with someone like her.#no one did. she was smart and witty and oh so stubborn (affectionate)#we both loved the same bands. i don't know if i can ever listen to those bands the same way again#god i cant think#im actually gonna throw up#this is the 2nd time in my life something like this has happened. 3rd if you count all COD not just suicide#knowing something is wrong with a loved one but being too much of a wuss to tell anyone or help them or do anything useful#god im fucking worthless#my friends and family will vent to me and share their problems with me and ill say i care and tell myself i care#but givenmy behavior i don't think i can ever say i can#idoly standing by while people i love suffer#fuckin pathetic#this was a deliberate choice i made. this is all my fault#this is all my fault
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aajjks · 7 months ago
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TEACH ME (m)
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synopsis. Teach me.. that’s what he says everytime he’s got his fingers deep inside you.
trope: age gap [10 years] yandere, forbidden relationship and cheating.
warnings. f-ngering, expl-cit themes, pr-fanity, he’s got a filthy mouth, f-rbidden r-lationship [teach-r x st-dent], y-ndere jk, p-sessive beh-viour, j-alousy, ch-ating, m-oning strict 18+ THEMES. MDNÏ.
note. PHEWWWWWW 🫠🫡🥵… YALL….. this is for all the horny girls on my blog. ONLY FOR YOU!! I think this is not gonna be a series but just a one shot and I hope to get it out soon but I wanted to put out a teaser and please talk to him and I just know you’re gonna love him because I know you guys have some fucked up fantasies. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS. I LOVE READING YOUR THOUGHTS AND YOUR ASKS also YALL the colored gradient text looks so pretty 🥹🥹🥹
note 2.0. This is strictly for 18+ so please do not interact if you’re underage. [TEASER]
If you wanna be tagged, please reply under this post x
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“Hahaha what??”
Jungkook walks to your figure, you’re standing behind your desk, your back leaning against the blackboard, he knows you’ve said something really important right now but…
How the fuck is he supposed to take you seriously when your tits are practically popping out of your right dress shirt? Or the pencil skirt that is clinging onto your ass like second skin?
Goodness you’re so fucking hot, his cock is practically pulsing inside his underwear.
“Ms yn… what?” He manages to say, now towering over your smaller figure, you glare at him, swear tickling down your forehead.
“It’s Mrs Jeong for you!”
“Ms yn…. No.” Jungkook rolls his eyes as he closes the distance between you two, there’s no one in this empty university hallway, your door is closed,
Jungkooks eyes are set on you like a predator and the way your breathing is irregular suddenly, makes him feel superior to you despite your age difference of 10 years.
“Sorry that’s almost sounds like you said Mrs Jeon…. Haha… so similar won’t you agree?” His chest is now touching yours, his eyes contain a carnal hunger for you.
“I’m sorry but that can’t happen, yn.” He tsks, feigning disappointment, like he’s sympathizing with you, but you know better.
Jungkook knows that you know him better than anyone.
You know him so deeply and so intimately.
Jungkook forces his knee between your legs, spreading them, you gasp, he smirks.
“How dare you try to abandon me huh? I don’t give a fuck- NO JUNGKOOK YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I-I CANT COMPROMISE- shhh.” He presses his finger on your tinted lips.
He guides his hand down your panties, playing with the hem of it, “n-no jungkook please don’t-“” jungkook doesn’t stop, “listen yn- or Mrs Jeong.” He grits his teeth while spitting your last name out,
“I don’t give a FUCK ABOUT YOUR PATHETIC HUSBAND! OR YOUR SHAM OF A MARRIAGE!” He seethes,
“How pathetic you are huh?” he bites his tongue before speaking. “You sleep on that very bed with your stupid husband where I’ve made you cum so many fuckin times huh?” He tugs your panties down roughly.
You need a reminder of who you belong to, and he will gladly do it right here in this classroom.
“J-JUNGKOOK What are you doing?” You stutter, he rolls his eyes.
You know damn well what he’s doing. “Oh ms yn. You should know damn well and what I’m doing. Because your body knows it.” He smiles, almost cruelly at you.
He starts to tease your wet pooling heat, his fingers skilled as he starts to move them around your clit.
“nghh nooo..” you can’t even hold your moans at this point. He gets your sexual frustration. Your pathetic excuse of husband can never please you.
Your brain & your heart, and especially your pussy are currently fighting with each other right now disagreeing with what you really want and what you should do.
arguing with you between what’s wrong and what’s right.
“Oh come on ms yn- you’re soaking wet for me..” he plunges his fingers inside your inviting cunt.
“Oh yes moan for me…” he groans, whispering in your ear.
Your eyes are at the verge of rolling back he fucks you with his calloused fingers. “Divorce the bastard and I’ll let you cum.”
He pumps them in and out of you- teasing you.
Jungkook licks the side of your neck, grunting in your ear.
“If you won’t divorce him I’ll murder him and then fuck you right infront of his rotting corpse.”
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eph3merall · 3 months ago
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I JUST FOUND YOU BUT PLEASE PLEASE ANOTHER STALKER!MATT FIC (for ideas maybe while she’s on facetime with him hes.. yaknow and his camera is on which is more riskier, or another idea is she posted a photo on instagram or something thats a little more on the 18+ side and he… yaknow)
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i got u 🙂↕️ piggybacked off an idea kinda ????? been meanin to visit stalker!matt i miss him :( this is sooooo late as well im so so so sorry !!! not proofread i cant STAND rereading things i write
18+ content, suggestive, stalker!matt . dont read if this isnt your cup of tea :)
matt has a habit of knowing where you are and who you're with at all times. well, most times. sometimes he messed up, a mistake on his part. sure, your sweet, little self is his best friend, and it is wrong for him to do the things he does and think the things he conjures up in his head. but it's so hard not to want to blow your back out or tug at your hair with his dick in your mouth when you just look so pretty on your new instagram photo dump.
matt knows where these photos are taken—you and your little group of friends having gone on a trip by yourselves and driving around cute places. the beach, a flower field, museums, art galleries, you name it. multiple photos of you and various girlfriends posing or sipping drinks, until matt sees some selfies of you guys at a bar.
'what the fuck?' are the words that spew from his mouth when theres suddenly a video playing of you guys downing shots and giggling. the music is loud and the crowd in the video is boisterous and looks most likely high and or drunk. the video is a fairly short one, but he doesn't miss the way a guy is snaking his hands around your waist as you turn and grin at him so prettily.
matt's thumb swipes immediately, not wanting to stare at that sight anymore. he doesn't realize the way his fingers grip his phone a little tighter, blinking at the last image in your new little photo dump.
the dress clinging to your figure was anything but modest, paired with the way you looked with your friend. the shot was a little blurry, the cameraman was probably drunk or something. your friend stood to your right, leaning towards the camera with her upper body. a shocked expression lay on her face, one hand covering her mouth while the other splayed on top of her thigh. her eyes diverted away from the camera.
you, on the other hand, have your ass almost directly facing the camera. wide googly eyes stare at the matt through his screen over your shoulder, your shoulders hunched and hair a pretty mess. the hem of the dress you wore rode up and gave him just a little peek of your ass, and god—his dick strained uncomfortably in his jeans. the way you looked so innocent yet so enticing, knowing nothing is by far innocent in the photo.
the caption of the dump was titled 'with my girls <33', and upon opening the comments there were immediately your friends' usernames hyping you up. specifically the last photo. matt scoffed under his breath at how you responded with your little emojis and what-not. the lingering thought of the guy who briefly showed up in the dump was still in his head, to which he stashed in the back of his brain. because matt will find out who that was.
but first, he can't miss the way his dick twitches ever so slightly in the confines of his jeans and belt.
soon enough, he has his belt strewn haphazardly on the floor of his room and his pants pool at his ankles. tongue prodding his cheek, chest heaving with a heavy exhale as his hand thumbs at his tip. a hiss leaves his mouth and he's spreading the pre that's leaking from his slit down the length of his dick.
his free hand fumbles for his phone that sits on the edge of his desk, swiping to that god forsaken photo that gives him a peek of your ass. a grumbled whine rips from his throat and his hand wraps around his length—starting to pump slowly as his eyes scan over each and every single feature of your body and face in the picture.
matt's fingers grip his phone tighter and your name is falling from his lips in whiny breaths and huffs, the occasional curse getting muttered under his breath. the pace of his fist increases and soon enough he's getting himself off to not only the photo of you—but the scenarios he keeps caged up in his head.
your face stuffed in a pillow with your ass up, his palm splaying across the cheek as his dick rams into you. drool bubbling at the corners of your mouth as he holds your head down on his cock, nose pressing into his pelvis as he feels your gag reflex kick in. your body laid all perfectly on his bed, thighs spread and squirming. his tongue poking at your entrance and his hands gripping the flesh of your hips and thighs, holding down harshly to make sure you don't thrash around so much.
matt doesn't realize he's busting until his balls tighten and your name is chanted over and over again in a whiny breath, like a prayer. his fist slows and his chest heaves up and down with each heavy gasp of air, eyes gazing at the photo on his phone and lingering for a little while.
goodnight i havent had motivation to do anything recently how are u all i love you guys !!!! if u sent in a req i will get to that just itll be very very slow .....
©eph3merall 2024
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omega-e123 · 5 months ago
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Shadow’s prequel here. Aftermath here
You’ve been actively avoiding him for weeks on end. Not because he’s done anything wrong, no! Lately it felt as though his voice has gotten a lot softer. The physical distance between you has gotten closer and his eyes gaze at you differently. A sort new kind of fondness, you imagine. Chaos, his eyes… The image of Shadow flashes in your mind, causing your heart to beat faster than Sonic on his way to his favorite Chilidog stand.
The friendship that you and Shadow have built over the past few years is too precious for you to mess up over some silly “crush.” Is it still considered a crush if you’ve liked the guy for a long time? Ugh, it doesn’t matter. No way that hedgehog would develop those sort of feelings.
Groaning, your head falls atop the cafe table. The empty cup clattering against its saucer. Well whether or not you would admit to him, the distance you forced between each other has strained the relationship. Absentmindedly, the coffee spoon clanks against the cups insides.
A tap on your shoulder breaks you out of your thoughts, nearly flinging the spoon into the street. Spinning around, a certain hedgehog stands awkwardly holding a bouquet of flowers. In a panic, you hurry out of your seat to stand face to face.
“Shadow! Hey, fancy seeing you here!,” you nervously greet. “Is everything alright? What are the flowers for?”
Fuckshitfuck— No where to run, no where to hide. Actually, what are the chances he’d just let you book it to the next dimension?
His intense stare is more than enough to send anyone straight to the floor cowering. Shadow looks down at the bouquet and then back to you before shoving them into your arms. “They’re for you.”
With a blank face, you say nothing and hold his gaze. Heat growing on your cheeks. You cant help but tilt your head and quietly repeat back, “for me?”
“That is what I said,” Shadow sighs, “Listen. I don’t know what I did to make you upset, but if you could just talk to me… It’s unsettling”
Your ears droop, hearing the reason. Ah, of course they wouldn’t be a romantic gesture. What were you thinking, getting your hopes up like that? Apology flowers. Eye contact breaks as your attention finds its way to the ground.
“No, you didn’t do anything. It’s okay, but thank you,” you manage out.
The hedgehog refuses to let you go without an answer. Worry laced in his words, “Then what’s with that look? Why do you look… disappointed? What’s wrong? Why the hell have you been ignoring my messages and avoiding me?”
Lips pressed into a thin line, you debate on how to answer him. It’s a struggle to breathe. “I’m not,” you begin to lie.
Shadow cuts you off with, “Please.”
It felt as if your brain blue-screened. Did the ultimate life form beg you just now?
“Look at me,” he asks, one hand holding your arm, the other resting under your chin. Slowly he lifts it up in order to get a better look at you. The touch so gentle, it was as though Shadow was convinced you’d break into a million pieces.
Ruby red eyes scan your features, searching for an answer. You notice his ears are slightly drooped forward. The poor guy looks like a kicked puppy.. Were you two always standing this close together? You try to find the words to say to him; however, you keep drawing blanks. It’s hard to believe someone like Shadow would be so worried over you. That’s how anyone could tell his actions are genuine. Something pulls you to lean up on your tippy toes and carefully inch towards him. Shadow tenses wondering what on Gaia’s green planet are you doing. Supple lips meld into the other. Your eyes close after the initial contact. A simple chaste kiss planted upon Shadow’s. He makes no effort to pull away, instead he’s relishing the moment.
Until you part from him, you both realize what had happened. His quills prickle up. Letting go of you, his hand comes up to hide the blush immediately creeping on his face . Shadow teleports away, leaving you dumbfounded.
«___° ° °___»
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jackalhadrurusluvr · 3 months ago
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update: just hung around my brother mostly and my ex-neighbors WERE NOT THERE! idk why because they lived next to my grandmother for like 15 years but. i am so glad they werent there! but my moms bf was and he is still the worlds biggest asshole and why my mom stays with him i have no idea!!!!!!!! but. yaknow. sooooo cool that she chose him to stay with her rather then i (the ultimatum i gave her) (which was long overdue because who moves an adult man whos rude into their home when their child (afab because it feels important in this situation specifically) is like 12 years old dawg) (nothing bad happened besides the casual me hating his presence so much that i went without food and water but like did she not realize how easily something worse couldve happened?) (when i told her i was visciously uncomfortable with him around did she just think i was gonna be chill with him being around forever?) (she seemed unhappy around him today. does she not realize that she doesnt have to stay with him?????? surely she realizes that he is awful????)
but my little cousin who went off to the navy said hi to me and gave me a hug and that was nice :-) he always was the least-judgemental of...... literally everyone whos around my age in my family. so it was nice to see him. i also saw my niece and nephew and they are like. actual teenagers now. and that was freaky because i know them as young children in my head. idk. its crazy that everyone ages bro
the pros of going to my grandmothers funeral/celebration of life tomorrow: closure or whatever. i dont really know ive only been to two funerals in my whole life and i dont fully get what im suppsed to feel and do there
the cons: i dont talk to literally anyone on my moms side of the family. i could follow my brother around but he's gonna be mostly around my mom, who i do not talk to for a thousand reasons. and my ex-neighbors who are very openly transphobic to me will be around her. and no one on her side of the family really Gets that im trans either so like it just all sucks. i will surely get emotional because y'know, and that means that i will be emotional in front of my mom, which is bad for me. all my cousins are weird around me because we were close as kids but now no one knows how to approach me because ive only gotten more awkward and more unable to verbally speak
#the last funeral i went to was my grandfathers on my dads side and it was open casket and inside and im glad this wasnt like that#we were outside and at the end they put the urn with her ashes into the ground#and it was nice#idk i cant think too hard about it all because ill get emotional and im already rocking a headache i dont need tears#other then my cousin no one else tried to hug me which is good but also sad#good because i was forced into so many hugs i didnt want when i was young bc my family is very physical#sad because it really highlights how far removed i am now that i didnt even get a hello from more then like 2 people#the problem is that usually in person with my mom things go fine and i go ok. this is fine#but then afterwards i must live with the knowledge of every wrong she has ever wronged me with#and i go wow. theres a reason i dont want to be around her at all#im so bad at defending myself and being strong in-person but theres really not much i can do when im mostly non-verbal#how can a man stand up for himself when he can barely say 2 words at a time#whatevs. im gonna go curl up in bed with my longfic#my whole body hurts soooooooo bad. my whole face radiates pain. my brain my forehead my eyes my jaw my cheeks everything#my backkkkkkkkkkkk my back. just like spiderman. but instead of falling off a building i just existed#my hips and my legs and my ankles. stood on lots of uneven ground today. they didnt like that#practically every muscle feels a little achey because i tense them something fierce when stressed (as u can imagine. 24/7)#im having cramp-like sensations#but surely its just stress or something because my period can NOT try to come right now#i just took my shot 2 days ago dawg#i need my testosterone to be beef mode and just convince my body i dont need to be shedding any uterus whatever
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k2ntoss · 11 months ago
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Hi, hi, hello <: first time sending an ask to anyone but I cant stop thinking of this rn and I feel like you'd appreciate the comedy of this. So like, this is definitely a more crackfic idea than anything, but I was just scrolling on amazon for Valentine's gift ideas and i found this, and the idea of gifting it to Jason?? peak comedy in my mind
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Imagine lighting it right before he goes on patrol just to mess with him a little too...👀 I just think it has so much potential for so many shenanigans, y'know? 😁😁
(I've been lurking around for a lil bit, gotta say I love your writing btw, it's great)
PRETTY LATE BUT I'M HERE, i tried to write something nice for a few days but i just couldn't squeeze my brain. NOW, i feel so honored to be your first ask, it's just so special so i really hope my little drabble is enough <3 and thank you so much for your sweet words baby
at first you wanted to get jason a nice edition of one of his favorite books, one of those expensive pretty books with a hard cover and write a lovely letter to him but scrolling and looking around some pages that candle popped up and you just couldn't resist it so there were now five items on your shopping cart, the book, the candle and stuff to wrap everything up. ready for valentine's day and getting him a pretty surprise in which you worked in every night as he went out on patrol until the day before valentine.
for those who think jason isn't that much of a valentine's day enjoyer let me tell you how wrong you are, jason enjoys picking up things for you because he knows it makes you feel special and even if it turns out into being more of a commercial holiday jason knows taking people for granted is not a good think, it's so easy to lose your loved ones and he's in no way letting you go one day without knowing how much you mean to him. so as soon as you wake up you're met by a big and warm hug, a chaste kiss on your lips and a pretty gift box on your lap; jason looks at you with a wide smile when you open the box just to find that sweater you saw on a store a few weeks ago, the one you wanted to get but couldn't buy because you were on a rush "jay... you didn't had to, this is just perfect" and it's simple but there's just so much in the fact that jason had in mind how much you liked that sweater and kept it in mind for days.
"i had to, anything for my baby..." he says softly and a sweet chuckle escapes his lips when you kiss him, arms wrapped around his neck before letting go of him to stand up. jason's eyes are fixed on you, your figure moving around as you pick a gift box from the closet just to walk back to the bed, going to sit on his lap before placing your gift on his hands and looking at his reaction as he opens it, the smile on jason's lips as his hands caress the book before he picks up the letter and seeing his green eyes tear up a bit is just so heartwarming you can't help but to cup his face with one of your hands.
"you know? you're the best thing that has ever happened to me" he says, a soft giggle slipping through jason's lips as he looks up to hide the small tears that are pooling on his lashline and it makes you nod "i think you've said it a few times before" and it makes you smile when he leans into your touch, nuzzling his face against your palm. suddenly, you remember there's still one more box you have for him and you stand up all of the sudden to go get it and he looks curiously at you when you turn around, holding the box and smiling widely.
"what do you have there?" jason asks, a small grin on his face as he sits straight on the bed before looking to the screen of his phone. it was almost time for him to go get ready for patrol, late in the evening he is just waiting to have a little more time with his lover. "it's a little surprise for both of us but by the look on your face i guess you have to start gearing up, right?" you ask before placing the small box on the edge of the bed "you can start, it's a small surprise so i can show you while you get ready" and the smile on your lips mixed with your soft tone makes him feel so lucky to have someone as patient and understanding as you by his side.
he nods happily, getting out of bed to start pacing around the room while leaving soft pecks on your cheeks and temples when he walks next to you, small playful kisses on your lips when he stands in front of you to start changing his clothes. jason is being specially sweet and playful today and it just fuels the need to use that little new gift, it's just something you can't help but think when jason is stripping in front of you just to get into his black compression shirt and the tactical pants that just make his body look even hotter. as he starts putting onto his armor you sit, legs crossed on the bed as your hands hold the box with a wide smile "so can i steal your attention a little now?" and jason turns his head around to look at you before nodding, going to stand in front of you.
your hands toy a little with the pretty bow to open the box, revealing the not so small candle and the label on it and jason's face is a mix between a poem and a stream of ideas of how it can end up "babe– how do you plan on using that?" he asks, a low laugh escapes his lips and it sounds like a growl because of the ideas popping on his head "well, i think the idea is pretty clear" the playful smirk on your lips is driving him crazy but he has to go on patrol "are you gonna wait for me to come back? i'll try to be extra quick" and his voice sounds so excited, because it's what was missed to make this valentine's day the perfect one.
"extra quick? i wouldn't want you to get in troubles, jay..." you start but you know damn well he is going to insist "no, i will be back before you even notice" he rushes before leaning in to kiss your lips in a firm and deep touch, hands on your hips to push your body a little into the matress and any idea of making him go with his full patrol vanishes when he bites your bottom lip and grunts a little into your mouth.
he pulls away, triumphant smile on his face before he walks out of the room to get his helmet and you rush to put the candle on the little night stand next to your bed before lithing it in the exact same moment jason sets a foot back on the room, stopping on his tracks as soon as the smell of vainilla hits his nose "sweetheart..." he starts but his first instinct is to pick his phone up to call dick.
if he was going to ask for a favour he was going to make it worth it, you lit the candle and he really couldn't think of anything else to do. probably the best gift for you both because it could help him expend more time with you.
"dick, c'mon! i'll do anything you want me to, i swear it's important" you can hear his voice and the urge on his tone as he speaks on the phone "it's not my fault i actually have a valentine's date!"
it makes you chuckle because it only lets you know how much he wanted to accomplish what you were asking him and to wait a little for him your eyes drift to the label just to find out the candle could be used in a few more ways than just start an encounter.
"it's a dinner date, okay? we made reservations!" jason sounds almost desperate at this point.
"jay! it's a body wax candle! can we try wax play?" you ask, not even noticing your voice could be heard through his phone.
"so dinner date, huh? i don't want the details, i'll cover you with bruce"
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xnchxntmxnt · 1 year ago
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Hey! May I ask for a pt 2 of the "skating in heels" piece you wrote, please? No pressure if you don't want to do it!
WHEW OKAY anon. Love ya. Thank you for the request. I forgot it was there for several months im sorry 😭 forgive me
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Characters: Kojiro Nanjo, Langa Hasegawa
Warnings: above text if needed
gn reader
reblogs > likes
send an ask to join my taglist
part one
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Kojiro “Joe”  Nanjo 
Small warning: talk of injuries but its in a light hearted and teasing way, nothing graphic
Alright
See this guy
He’s gonna think its impressive
Clapping, cheering, the whole bit
You can probably sense a but coming
BUT
He’s watching and he’s like
That cant be THAT hard
Ahaha yeah. Sure joe
So you scour the internet trying to find him a pair for 2in heels (start a little easy on him)
They usually dont make heels in his size but dammit, youre stubborn, you find some. Theyre international shipping so you gotta pay the extra money and wait a little longer, but he tested you and now he gets to reap the benefits 
Honestly, i love being petty with kojiro because he wouldn’t get upset he just matches your energy
 So these heels come and you take him to a skate park on a less busy night when there aren’t any teenagers around. And bring a helmet just in case
“I haven't worn a helmet skating since i was sixteen!” “I know, and you got a concussion two weeks later. Wear it” 
So he does, but makes fun of you for it endlessly
Until he falls on his ass coming down off the halfpipe and slams his head into the concrete. So he was happy for it then
Now he just has a bruised butt and ego, but no bruised BRAIN 
(dont get concussions kids, i did and it was not fun)
He gets up, dusts himself off, and grumbles something about how he put his foot in the wrong place and he’ll get it next time
(he’s not used to the gap between the heel of the shoe and his toes. Makes a difference)
After making some excuses he tries again. Falls again, and this time its because “the shoes aren’t broken in”
Several tries and excuses later, he gives up and puts his sneakers back on. He respects your ability a lot more after that
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Langa “Snow” Hasegawa
Shocked pikachu face
Not much more i can say
Langa is a man of few words and i think he’d just stand there staring at you
You decided to show off to him & reki at the skate park randomly one day (they were very curious what the shoes were for) and pull a couple small tricks on the board
Reki’s all sorts of excited and cheering for you because he’s never seen someone DO that before
Langa just. Sits there mouth slightly open
(gets made fun of for it gently lol)
When youre done and skate back over langa begins spinning you around and checking you for injuries or anything because “that can be very dangerous” and he’s worried about you skating in shoes that are not meant to be skated in
But when he’s finally satisfied and knows that youre okay and didn’t pull anything he’s slightly smiley
“That’s very impressive”
“Thanks, langa”
Proceeds to talk about it for the next SEVERAL days with reki, but doesn’t tend to bring it up with you. No one’s sure why, but he just cant stop singing your praises when you’re not around
Not out of malice, he just does that. Talks a lot about the people he loves when theyre not there. Cute habit of his
He thinks youre so cool though and loves to watch you skate when you put your heels on (or just watch you skate in general
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taglist
@grays321 @dear-koi @sirimirihiro @momoewn @poeberlyavenue
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wassupmygays · 1 month ago
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yap about ur headcanons about the socs pls!!
heheeh okay some misc things about the soc guys that have popped into my head throughout the week (im sorry this is so long)
EDIT: ok ive put it all under the cut bc it got so long but i do yap a little bit about each soc guy so please read hehe :)
Chet
chet and his family moved from california when he was in 3rd grade. his first friend in town was one sodapop curtis on his little league baseball team
his dad is a cop and wants to advance up the ranks, and his mom wants to make sure they keep up their good social standing, so chet was not friends with soda for long
you know those boys in like 5th grade that crack all the dumb jokes, hit all the door frames, and tease every girl "because he likes her"? thats chet and trip
this is inspired by @/sky4cherry iirc but chet does Nawt get attention at home man. his dad is always busy with work and a little mean (yknow how dads are in the 60s) and his mom is always working on the next social function or trying to appease his dad. anyways he is just always at another soc guy's house just to have someone Talk to him
i think he picks up drinking and smoking, and fighting, for a similar reason to bob: he just wants his parents to fucking notice he's doing something wrong. but theyre high enough now in the social and job spaces that they can just wipe any misdemeanors under the rug
i cant decide if chet is an only child, or if he has like 2 siblings that are way older than him. idk
Trip
terrance dipp is The Exasperated older brother ever. bro did Nawt want a little brother sorry melvin.
anyways unfortunately i do think trip is very much a guy's guy. that boy is Not a good boyfriend to marcia unfortunately :(((((( at least by the time we get to their sophomore year/the show
him and chet can not be sat together in class. they will never shut up or stop hitting each other.
chet broke his arm one time in like 6th grade. trip threatens to break it again at least once a month
ive said this before but ill say it again: trip and melvin are just soc steve and ponyboy. trip is so tired of his kid brother being in all his sports and trying to tag along to everything
that being said, he was looking out for melvin so much during the rumble. he knew their mom would kill him if he brought his brother home all beat up, but also he really really didn't want him to get too hurt.
he Always goes to marcia to patch him up after hes been in a fight. (after the rumble though, him and marcia are on the rocks, and hes got melvin to worry about. so he just sneaks melvin home and tries to clean him up before their mom sees. its actually a sweet bonding moment between them i think)
trip lovesssss verbally poking fun at any greaser in school, especially two-bit. after he realizes two-bit likes marcia, his mean jokes become a lot more threatening
(i do love trip i promise i just also think hes kinda a mean guy. you know the kind of rowdy douche bags in high school im talking about. im so sorry ksco and sean jones i promise i love trip kdjfkdjf)
Brill
clark brillstein i'll be so incredibly honest i dont have much in my brain for him :((( i gotta sit and think more
i do think he has one of the better home lives out of the bunch, and hes got his lovely perfect girlfriend, and hes good at sports, and honestly i think he just. gets tired of everyone thinking hes got it so perfect all of the time. i think maybe thats why he likes all the fighting so much
while he is relatively happy with his life rn, hes tired of being doted on like hes perfect. and also sometimes he sees everyone else's lives being so shitty, he feels likes hes got to pick fights to justify him feeling bad about his lot.
Paul
ohhh im gonna have to hold myself back from talking about him forever. he will get his own post at some point aDKFJDKFJK
anyways. paul holden. the messiest and most scared gay kid in the town of tulsa
i think he and bob literally grew up together. like their parents are Old old friends, so paul and bob have always basically been brothers despite a 2/3 ish year age difference (i dont feel like doing the exact math). i think bev's parents are also in this old friend group, so pauls known her forever too
anyways. he was probably the bob of his friend group in his class, which is why nobody really really protested darry being in their group. but i also think that when he was with darry, paul didnt really care about the whole social friend group of things too much.
contrary to popular belief i dont think paul is the friend-group-leader type. idk if that makes sense and i can yap about it more but.
anyways post-darry breakup paul is a fucking mess. hes sad and angry and those fights that darry was always trying to stop feel so damn good. maybe bob and his buddies are on to something, and bob's dad always has a full liquor cabinet
Bob
obviously we know the most about bob and his home life and inner psyche and reasons for fighting and honestly all of it really resonates in my brain. like yea im keeping all of that
bro has charisma to the max. like he has always been the ringleader of the friend group, even in like 4th grade when all the boys started becoming best buddies
he used to be such a mommas boy. before her praise just became so meaningless.
oh ive just had a revelation. he is an angrier and more resigned buddy aldridge from rotpl. his dad is pulling the strings to make sure his precious son is climbing all the right ladders.
the difference here tho is bob realized this earlier, and that started his spiral into fights and drinking and causing problems. he wanted to see what would finally make his dad stop covering and fixing everything for him. he never found that limit
he knows cherry cant stand the drinking, and i do think he does feel bad about ignoring her feelings about it. but his urge to push back against everything and spit in the face of anyone who tries to tell him how he should be just overpowers. and god everything is more fun when hes boozed up
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yellowistheraddest · 2 years ago
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LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND FELLOW CONTORTIONS OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT, i present to you 9 drawing requests with accompanying commentary...
request one:
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honestly its not a crime but they are criminally curious to learn the rich history of Dallas in 1963! i mean arent you curious, you should google what happened there on november 22nd!!!
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request number 2:
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OH BABY you know i love making people feel :( my most popular post is characters crying so i was supposed to have fun with it but 3 people hugging - dude, i was no the verge of insanity and in the end pearl just kinda got swallowed up and disappeared.
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[[7 MORE UNDER CUT!!]]
request tres:
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coming from the last drawing i was still on the 'lmao get sad' bandwagon, and simon and athena they have lived through somethings so once again i drew people crying :D so heres a drawing of little athena and her goth uncle having a nice little hug and nothing ever went wrong
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request četiri:
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by now everyone should know that my favourite AU is these two bastards meeting before phoenix became a lawyer; ya know so he doesnt need to break his back trying to learn law as an art student - not that he learns much as he doesnt know what a cross examination is in his first case,,
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request pénte:
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this request marked the second day of drawing.
now,, i might have not read the request before i drew sooo i kinda just drew them taking a selfies at a steel samurai con so i kindly edited the second drawing to contain a peace sign. [the plush is the hellish creature named the iron infant [from AAI i think] and i bet its like the worst character in the franchise and these two will definitely burn it when they get home]
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request numero sześć:
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now i swore to never post kissing on here so i spare myself of the cringw when i look back later, so just dont read the first half and enjoy the way i found out you cant really draw flicking without making a comic. like the motion is so small yet so powerful how do you draw that?!?!?!?!?!? this looked miles better in my brain...
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request shtatë:
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you know what else is like rocks? big frozen chunks of ice, like the one here :D
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RIP LMAO
request huit:
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ah the t4t to end all t4ts. ron is definitely a guy to fall at first sight and bro desiree is the definition of girlboss
also people forget that larry was rons coworker and i need more content of those two because they are just wildly opposite
[edit: ''sir are good'' HUH??? brother i need to go to sleep and just not draw for the next millenia]
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now we have arrived at the end of our trip...
you may be thinking "yellow, you said that there were 9 drawings!"
YES, but no.. theres probably a reason behind this but when i opened my inbox and saw this was like a game character who was stun locked. i mean look at this, aka request number NINE:
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love ya to death, babes, but please get some rest because i think you forgot to write in the characters you wanted to see. despite that i decided to draw what you requested:
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now just imagine whichever characters you waant in those places! wait was your request an investment so you can have an infinite amount of ships inserted into this pose???
anywho, ummmmm.. yeah Now we have reached the end - but do not fear, im not dying or going away. im still going to be here on my ace attorney bullshit as long as my brain can stand.
sadly i have to say GOODNIGHT, LADIES, GENTLEMEN AND FELLOW CONTORTIONS OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT. may we meet once again when the planets align and it rains in the greatest depths of the ocean o7
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walnutcookie · 3 months ago
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going insane about this post of yours. THANK YOU for putting it into words omg,,, I was wondering why the story states that CASSA is peaceful/restorative or whatever yet jjanjang’s (I propably spelled that wrong) skill and trial is so. Violent (she gets literal flamethrowers in her trial like???). But uh yeah. Sorry if im not making sense lmao
LITERALLY. AUGHHHH. THANK U SO MUCH IM GLAD THAT IVE HIT SOMEONE ELSE WITH MY BRAIN BEAMS IVE BEEN THINKING SO HARD ABOUT THIS LATELYYYY LIKE. FUCKKKK. Ive been chatting with @cherryformula about jjajangs morals a lot lately and like we were talking about how when jjajang acknowledges that something is wrong she never really looks that deep into it.
For example when she got demoted for exposing a higher up she just... didnt really care??? Not in the way that someone who hates wrongdoing should. she was more pissed that she got demoted and her only focus was getting her position back - she never stopped to think about what it says about CASSA and how corrupted it must be. she just seemed to accept it as "man that was fucked up" and started to think about how she could climb her way back up
the exact same thing happened when aloe pointed out that she was driving recklessly and then directly after that tried to arrest and wipe the memories of the group without giving them a chance to defend themselves. She realized it was wrong and said "ok fine. start talking" instead of. Yknow. Taking a moment to realize really what the orders she was given entails. Wondering why CASSA protocol is to arrest/wipe the memories of anyone who interferes
THATS THE THING AAUGRHRHGHRJH SHE FOLLOWS ORDERS BLINDLY!!!! For someone who stands for justice and hates all wrongdoings shes awfully morally questionable!!!!!!!!!!! i really cant tell if this is what the devs were planning or if they just. Wrote it badly.
i think that jjajang is less against wrongdoings than she is enforcive of justice. She doesn't neccessarily stand for what's right, she stands for the law. (because theres a big difference between what's moral and whats legal!!!) Higher up being funny with funding? Yeah, thats against the rules, so she'll call that out. but shes so unaware of whatever shes doing with the memory wipers because Objectively erasing peoples memory is preeetty fucked up. From the cutscene with bell pepper we can see that they erase more memories than just anything to do with aliens. and anyways based on the job description youd expect that CASSA would advocate for alien acceptance and help protect them instead of just zapping peoples memories away and trying their best to keep the huge alien population under wraps???
Jjajang doesnt think about that though. At least she doesnt like to think about it. i headcanon that she really does try to stand for whats right but also one of her parents was a Cop and with the job she works shes just been taught not to question authority. She does question it all, staring up at the ceiling at night, but its too uncomfortable of a question to truly confront. She doesn't want to abandon that comfort of "I work for CASSA, so im one of the good guys."
all of my headcanons thus far are not set in stone though GXVJDHF there is still the second half of the update and we may see more to her in there so. Mmmmmm
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rockermybuddie · 3 months ago
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Rant about my sweet boy Tommy Kinard.
So if you are one of those “OmG JuMp ScArE” or “im blocking you for posting a picture of Tommy”
Just go ahead and scroll or block me, idc.
———————————————
I’m going to start this off by when i first started watching 911 and we shall go from there.
I started watching 911 in 2020 when covid started and it was senior year of high school so we were doing NTI.
I stopped watching it specifically on the episode where they responded to the guy at the car place getting blown up like a balloon.
Why?
Because I couldn’t stand how Buck was treating Eddie.
It was generally pissing me off how Buck was so ‘jealous’ of Eddie in the beginning because he was ‘better’ than him and was able to do things he couldn’t.
Because thats how life is, there is always going to someone who comes into your work space and knows how to do it better than you no matter how long you have worked there.
And yes its a Tv show, i know.
I picked up watching 911 in late 2023 and finished where i left off, so forgive me if what i said wasnt quite accurate.
I literally stopped watching in the middle of that episode and picked right back up in the middle of that episode three years later and never re-watched S1-S2.
I genuinely just forgot i had even started watching it and i knew why i stopped but figured i would give it another try.
I also kept seeing it on my fyp on tik tok and figured i just had to watch his character development.
———-
So what gets me so aggravated about Tommy is when i see and edit of him then it switches to Eddie and i open the comments and everyone is like:
“Omg put a jump scare warning”
“I was abt to block you”
“Ew temu”
“Get him off my screen”
If you dont want to see Tommy then stop watching 911????
When Tommy was introduced in 911 he obviously was an unlikable character.
No one likes a sexist, racist, homophobic.
And I understand why we wouldnt like him.
He was working under Gerrad and we all know how Gerrad is if he were to not follow along with his fellow crew then he would wouldnt of been able to go on calls and would get stuck on cleaning duty.
The whole “he didnt have to follow in their footsteps”
Thats all he could really do back then.
He was introduced as a bad character.
But
Character development.
Haha i like doing the small to big text.
Anyways.
He left the 118 and went to harbor. We had years of not seeing/hearing from him other then that time when Chimney called him.
Obviously he had character development helping Chim.
Dude couldnt stand him in the beginning. Even when Chim carried him out of the building that one time.
So in that time he had time to change his view of things and im sure if was able ro go back in the past and change how he acted he would.
Why?
For Buck.
Both Tommy and Buck had major character development and thats what we like to see!
If we all love Buck now why cant we love Tommy too?
I do hope see Buck learning how Tommy treated Chim and Hen. Yeah Buck will be upset but he will see how Tommy has changed since then.
Gerrad will probably have something to do with that.
Buch changed.
Tommy changed.
——-
People also need to learn
Actor vs character
Lou is NOT Tommy.
He portrays Tommy.
Just because an actor plays a character you dont like doesn’t mean you need to go say hatful things about them.
Lou would never say or do anything racist or sexist.
And if he did/does the internet isnt going to let that slide.
Like come on, we know once something gets said the whole internet will know.
Isnt that right Ryan? (He apologized i know)
And not everyone likes apologies but the thing is people pick and choose if an apology is accepted or not. So either way if someone apologizes it might not even matter in the end.
The internet is going to be the internet.
You dont have to agree with me this was just a rant.
I probably missed somethings i was going to say or maybe i said somethings that are wrong.
Oh well. 
——-
Im going to go clean now. My brain hurts.
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everywherenothere · 1 year ago
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okay, so a couple of days ago i saw on the clock app this video of a jock and a obviously queer man living together and my brain went STEVE AND EDDIE OMG I NEED A FIC OF THIS and i know there is somewhere in the internet but i need to put into words so here it goes:
Robin loves Steve. And Steve loves Robin. They have been attatched to the hip since the mysterious accident that have burned the gigantic new mall and, subsocuently, the ice cream shop where they used to work. They have been living together since before Robin went to a college out of the little town they used to live (we all know Steve's parents were shit and probably being a teenager living alone, Robin's parents practically adopted him) and Steve without anything holding him back followed her.
Now, a couple years later, partners and one-night-stands came and went from their apartment because you cannot convince me those two dont have some kind of rizz. Steve with his bitchy attitude and jock alike body and Robin with her nerdy and charismatic energy have definetly bagged some people. One of them being the now-and-Robin-hope-for-a-very-long-time Robin's new girlfriend who the last two months has been living with them. And for sometime it was good, great even, but feeling like a third wheel most of the time Steve decided to move.
Apartment hunting was hard. Most places were way out of his budget or too small for a human to actually live comfortable and host dinners like he used to do when the now-not-so-kids visited him on the summer. So, he decided to search for a roomate. It was a little bit easier but to find someone who wasnt crazy and actually just mind their bussiness was a full job.
That's how he met Eddie. A nerdy metalhead who can and will up his bitchy attitude with a flirtatious response. And Steve absolutely loves it. At the beggining he tries so hard to convince himself that is just because he reminds him of Robin. That is just because both of them are a little bit smaller than him and nerdy. That is just because of the manerisms and the way they dont even flinch at his sarcastic and mean-girl-type of comments. That is just because both of them talked with passion about what they had been invested in the last couple of days.
But then is also the way Eddie always dress to impress and has a varierity of responses (and even actions) when people call him slurs without even letting those comments affect him.
And the way his eyes glows and do a little dance when he finally got one bridge right on a really difficult song that has been practicing the last couple of weeks.
And the way that he isnt a morning person but still wakes up earlier than Steve to make breakfast because he has learn that Steve bearly takes care of himself without a pressure of someone being dissapointed of him.
And the way both (Steve and Eddie) are on the couch on a Saturday evening watching nothing on the TV when Eddie starts talking his thoughts out. And of course, Steve being Steve cant help but tease him about something he said wrong and then it started: a back and forth of teasing and getting close as trying to prove a point. And when both are a hand away of breathing the same air, Steve realized. And Eddie purposly looked at Steve lips and get just a molecule closer just to see how Steve gets all red and backs down, of course Eddie laughs teasingly and walks to his room for a dictionary, leaving Steve all confused about wtf has happened. But Eddie's laugh continues to live on his ears and oh the way Eddie laughs.
Steve is pretty sure he is fucked up when he realized that he would do anything to make him laugh. And then Steve is also pretty sure that the friendship he has with Robin is one thing and the thing he has (or hope he has) with Eddie is another.
But that is one thought for another time, one existential crisis at the time, please.
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stevie-petey · 5 months ago
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Hi M! I saw you mention that you felt bad for Billy because of that particular lack of a chance he got to prove himself to be a good person. And I definitely agree because even tho he was really cruel and horrible, the scene of his death still made many of us cry 🤧
Because of this, I thought of a tiny little angst blurb if you want to write it!
In your latest chapter of come home, it was mentioned that he tried finding bug because he didn’t know what was going on with him and why he was acting the way he was.
Do you think you could write that from his pov?
Thank you! 😁
this one is a challenge because ive never written billys pov but heres my very poor attempt lmao
enjoy !
"dude, are you alright?"
lights blind billy. a ringing in his ears nearly deafens him. his vision blurs and his teeth grind into sawdust. the taste of blood fills his mouth as he bites down on his tongue. he grips at the lifeguard stand, hardly able to stand himself.
theres a guy in front of him. billy thinks his name is alex, who eyes him wearily. alex clears his throat, tries again. "hey, uh. billy?"
billy. his name is billy. billy hargrove.
the metallic taste of blood coats his mouth. he tries to speak, words tumble from mouth like a slippery slope. he doesnt have control over them. he cant remember if hes supposed to breathe in or out when he speaks.
all billy knows is that theres a girl out there. someone told him to come find her of he ever needed anything. what was her name? it started with an h, two, maybe three syllables.
he loses his footing, almost falls against the stands wood, and alex takes a step back from him. hes scared of billy. did he do something? hes cold. his entire body is cold.
"you know what, im just... i'll just go." alex takes another step back. he pushes his glasses up stands awkwardly in front of billy. "y/n is probably waiting for me, anyways."
the hair on billys arms stand up.
y/n henderson. that had been the girls name.
sweetheart. billy calls you sweetheart. hawkins sweetheart. the one who extended help to him.
"where?" saliva mixed with blood follows billys question.
alexs eyes widen. "w-what?"
"where. is. y/n?" he needs to find you. its getting harder and harder to keep the blood inside his mouth. his guts twist within his stomach, billy thinks the cold that attacks his body is really white hot heat, searing his intestines and burning him from the inside.
you said you could help him.
billy doesnt know whats going on. darkness seeps into his brain. he cant think straight. the sunlight casts a blinding streak across his eyesight. is he dreaming?
"she... she should be waiting in her car." alex isnt sure if he should be telling billy this. youve always been weird when it came to the mention of the boy, but billys sweat drips onto the concrete and alex thinks he may be experiencing heatstroke.
he decides then that he should take billy to you. alex knows youll know what to do. you always do. the amount of times youve saved his ass at work is more than hes willing to admit, but alex holds a deep appreciation for you.
alex grabs billys arm to guide him towards the pools exit, but the skin is cold to the touch. he flinches, he doesnt understand whats wrong with the guy. hes drenched in sweat and yet ice cold.
billy doesnt register any of this. all he can feel is his body being moved somewhere. hes removed from it all. his body hasnt been his ever since the night he crashed his car.
theres something inside of billy. something more sinister than the anger his father left him. worse than the bruises and scars from his childhood. and billy is afraid.
it takes some maneuvering, alex has to stop and steady billy every few feet, but eventually they make it to the pools parking lot. only your car isnt there.
alex curses and looks down at his watch. its almost one in the afternoon. your shift at bookstrordinary shouldve ended thirty minutes ago. youre never late.
and yet you never show.
billy and alex stand in the parking lot for nearly an hour waiting for you. the sun blazes down upon their skin. billy nearly blacks out at one point, and alex doesnt know what to do.
then something seems to shift within billy. his back straightens, his eyes suddenly ignite, and the blue in his irises is gone. black now infiltrates, and alex nearly trips on the curb in his haste to get away from him.
billy sniffs the air in an animalistic way. alex watches.
theyre here.
the voice booms in billys mind. its gravelly, rough, it isnt human.
follow them. follow her.
billy turns and sees el walking across the street. shes coming towards the pool. she hasnt seen him yet. neither have the others. those goddamn kids and max.
max.
who is he again?
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moonshynecybin · 1 year ago
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Marc not being with Vale in Austin is fine because Vale crashed anyway and it's been a week since Argentina and Vale is still processing what Marc said (and it's not like they picked each other 100% of the time when things were fineTM, so, anyway)
Marc not picking Vale in Sachsenring, though? After the moment they had in Barcelona? Definitely feels wrong and Vale burns with jealousy (which was Marc's plan all along) (Vale goes out that night and picks up someone and it's the least satisfying one night stand he's had in forever) (and he's fully the one to blame for it)
I think it also shows Vale that Marc is not as desperate as he might have thought (and let's face it, there was obviously something satisfying thinking he had the upper hand there) and it fucks him up a little too
context on this post!! go read it...
see in my brain im thinking marc is enough of an all-or-nothing dichotomous little guy that he DOES choose vale every time he can... idk how that would work out with the rules of podiums but i have been tortured by enough gifsets (wait a minute you made some of those. find them here friends) of his 21 year old self wallpapering his room with valentino merch (and his own merch like he WAS doodling mr marc marquez rossi <3 in all of his notebooks rip king) that i think the first time he chooses anybody else is post ARGENTINAAAAAA 2018. down horrendous. down catastrophic. down so bad we might have to send him to the medical center so they can declare him medically fit to ride anyways. and thats not as fun for jealousy stuff anyways bc by then vale has realllllllly entrenched some narratives in his brain and would simply repress that <3
so!!! this au hath been set in the 2016 season where marc is half agony half hope.... one word from you would silence me forever.... so marc is um. winning a lot, and choosing valentino every time like. please talk to me. and as youve said initially its like i have nothing to say to you!! you betrayed me!! and then as it goes on a gradual thawing and they are having like. intense tender fraught winners room sex the ENTIRE time like insane people. marc fully lowkey like once he unblocks me the wedding is back on... and then as youve said in catalunya vale picks marc and blows his back out and theyre both soooo kind of. tired. of pretending that they dont like this so i think there IS a moment where marc tells a dumb joke and vale laughs (SEX LAUGHERS TILL I DIE) and then his eyes get all soft and marc leans in and its a very sweet kiss and a very sweet moment and they both think. maybe..... marc's breath caught in his chest vale's thumb on his cheek....
but this is rosquez the GOATs of motorsport divorce (no one tell me the brocedes lore shhh) so i think vale makes an offhanded comment in front of marc about picking up or something. maybe talks to uccio and blocks marc's number after he tries to call him afterwards... SOMETHING happens that pisses marc off idk what. and the next time he wins in germany hes like fine. okay. i wont choose valentino he clearly doesnt want me to. so he chooses dovi and they dont fuck but they do let everyone THINK they fucked (dovi is lowkey sad about this. cal crutchlow known marc fucker and p2 this race is despondent that he didnt get chosen.) and vale feels LITERALLY INSANE... sitting at home thinking about marc with dovi... cant get it out of his head....
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morningstar-chronicles · 9 months ago
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(4 year shifter here hi)
I decided I'm shifting. Like I'm ready to dive back in because 4 years??? nothing should take you 4 years to do and thats utter bs and i will NOT stand that. im gonna shift!!! because 4 years of my life is not gonna be wasted fantasizing a world instead of improving my own. i could've mastered a skill in 4 years. out of pure SPITE I WILL BE SHIFTING AND ILL MAKE IT A CONSISTENT THING TO VISIT MY DRS!!!!
Only problem is. I HAVE SO MUCH ANXIETYYYYY around shifting. I mostly blame tiktok for this but i have such imposrer syndrome (i just learned that term maybe im usijg it wrong). i feel like nothing im doing is correct and my brain tells me with assurance im not gonna shift because of it.
i know if I just believed id be with my husband rn. but i dont know how and 4 years of conditioning myself to believe i wont im scared i cant undo it and my thoughts on life is *if you dont believe you can do it you won't do it*
l asked my tarot deck for advice on what to do and got:
situation: The devil, Page of swords
what to do: The Emperor
i have no clue what's this is meant to mean 😚
hm. okay so i'm not super well-versed in tarot but i'll consult my books for u
the devil (assuming upright): describes obsession and limitations. given the context, i'm going to assume these limitations are more percieved than actual physical limitations. this pretty much checks out with what you told me here. i'm getting that there is a lot of overthinking and maybe method hopping or trying to make something work that just doesn't align with what you need.
page of swords (assuming upright): tells me that you are very methodical and thorough with your attempts. this is great for most aspects of life, but in my own personal opinion, shifting is about letting go of the details and focusing on the big picture.
the emperor (assuming upright): this was most interesting to me! it appears that you crave structure, and so a method with more structure may still be what works best for you. however, it also appears as though you need to focus on practicality over smaller details. you might benefit from taking a more commonly-known rigid method and changing certain things like the breathing pattern or steps that just don't allow you to relax.
ANYWAY that aside, you can totally shift even if you have doubts!! some people shift the day after they give up (baffling to me??? like omg universe i'm totally giving up... 👀) and i think something that helps a lot of people to know is like... anyone can shift. literally anyone. also i never do the methods right and i've shifted before so like... idk hopefully that helps you feel better about doing things wrong 😭
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